Who I am or was I dont care about, it's just u now

[Wander]

Name: Erin
Age: 23 moons
Gender: She-cat
Personality:

Erin is a cunning charmer she has away with everyone. If you let her get to know you for a few hours she will own you, and have figured out how to charm you into anything. She isn't drawn to the strongest or best looking toms she goes for the sweet yet strong toms you know the ones with a head and heart. Erin is a Loving she-cat with a fire inside that she tries to hide most of the time. She is also famous with getting into some trouble*Double cross her and your sorry,I would be*

Description:

A sleek silky figure, her fur is a smooth auburn Carmel brown. Her pelt is a creamy white with a small but detailed scar that looks like a heart that is holding onto a small leaf. Erin's eyes are another small but beautiful part of this cat, her eyes are an ivy green mixed with a creamy blue. They do help with the flirting and getting what she wants. ;D

History:

Erin was born and some day she will die like the rest of us. she doesn’t have much of a past she doesn’t remember it.All she knows is that her parents are gone, she is the only remaining of her family. She dose not have a mate its more like a crush that doesn’t know she's alive but the tom knows she is alive and he likes her as well His name is Alex, he has known her all his life. After a while Erin and Alex started dating and became mates, Erin doesn’t like to think of the past because over time she remembers parts and she hope's she will remember who she is or was.

Other:

Erin is based on one of my very close freind's.

Attachments:

[Onyxdart]

You've certainly got enough in the way of description, etc., but please go back and fix your grammar and spelling problems, and then I or one of the other mods will be glad to take a look at it!

If you aren't sure what your grammar mistakes are, just lemme know and I'll help you out. I'll give you one thing to get you started, though. You have a lot of run on sentences. For instance, this one:

"Erin is a cunning charmer she has away with everyone if you let her get to know you for a few hours she will own you and have figured out how to charm you into thing's."

It should probably be broken down into at least two sentences (I fixed spelling and grammar too, because I'm like that), like this:

Erin is a cunning charmer. She has a way with everyone. If you let her get to know you for a few hours, she will own you and have figured out how to charm you into things.

Hopefully that makes sense! Again, ask me if you need anything!

-Onyx

[Wander]

Thank you! that helped alot!!