.//But you can't count the ways I [Miss You]

[Amberstar]

<sub>Dam't, where th'hell did tha' fool go?Snapped Sharpfang irritably. They were on orders, wasting time they could have used looking for the cat named Shinentai. Sharpfang had a feeling this cat had relations to Heartless. But they weren't supposed to be off galivanting thinking of loves lost!!

Barbwire was at Sharpfang's side, but she was feeling a little more sympathetic towards her fallen-from-grace father. Where had he wandered off to? She hoped he wasn't taking drastic measures into his own hands, like tracking down this band of cats himself.

So there they stood on the sunset hill, lightning flashing at odd intervals in the dim light of the setting sun, rain falling in a motley of patched across the valley.

---

Goldenblaze had slipped away as they stood with their backs turned to the tom, who had already died inside. As they discussed where he might possibly have been found, the once handsome tom had slipped away silently into the grassy sage, and he was already a fair distance away by the time they realized they were missing a companion. They had been sitting there, unsure of their next move, hoping he had just wandered off to think, for some time. Goldenblaze had already found himself a long distance away, and he began to recognize small landmarks. It was only until he was standing atop a hill, too far for the duo to see, that he realized he had subconsciously wandered back to the Rogue Meadows.

.... Back where it had all began.

Bane had ended it. Given him his final word. Heartless.... wasn't coming back. But what ran deeper; his loyalty to Boneclan, to Bane? Or his loyalty to the love he had long since lost?

With his head down and tail dragging against the floor, he walked amongst the tall grass, unconcerned that the stalks threatened to reach out and snag into his long and unkempt fur. The ground beneath his feet was hard, and the sunset allowed him to blend in with the yellow and sage splashed grass. Lightning hit the ground several miles away, and thunder rumbled ominously, but the rain only came down lightly across his back, and the clouds only shined innocently red, orange, and pink. They did not look guilty of the light drizzle that came down in on and off intervals.

Tired, too tired, Goldenblaze sat down, ears pinning back against his head, looking at his reflection in a small puddle of water at his feet. He let out a choked noise, so quiet... so quiet.

.. When was the best time to end your own life?

Bane was determined not to let this warrior slip, but Goldenblaze had already fallen.

He did not blame Bane though. With the prospect of his suicide, it head had cleared a considerable amount, allowing him to think clearly. It was almost sadistic, ironic, a mad humor, how only those thoughts could make him ponder in such a way.
He would have made the same decision, really. But Bane had never loved. Had he ever lost?

Goldenblaze had. And the pain was driving him mad. He was losing sight, losing focus.

... What would it feel like, dying?

For so long, some will had kept Goldenblaze tied to this earth. An instinct that kept him alive. But now, he had lost that will. He almost appreciated the sound of it.. No more pain, no more suffering or confusion, or darkness. Maybe someday he'd see Heartless again, as she had been when they met. He closed his eyes, letting his ragged breath even out. That would be the perfect end for him.</sub>

[Heartless]

• I’ve lost so much along the way •

That first rush of blood was an elaborate addiction, a vibrantly flowing unrelenting tapestry, gushing across the tentative dance of taste buds. Could one just dare to breath, chance, another bite for the unholy taste – another…another? Who could be so bold, so daring, to claim more then one’s worth, to steal away that cherished breath of life far beyond their given time?

A monster.

A being so heinous, so horrible, so terrible, that never should exist; that should have been snuffed out long before the final sinking, the final spiral that twisted its mind until there was nothing left but the monster. The beast. A sinuous, glossy, tawny beauty with a graceful step and soulless piercing blue eyes.

The family, a rogue group, had done their damnest to keep the murderess from their precious youth, a tiny little kit that wailed helplessly as it watched its mother, then its father, be ripped to pieces before its glassy eyes. It was only then, after the tom’s unearthly death screech puttered off, the only sound a steady drip-drip of blood plopping from his eviscerated underbelly to the unyielding earth below. The slow fall, a careless toss of the she-cat's head, muscles coiled and tensed in case there was a final rise, a final defiant charge to protect what was to be taken away forever. The body twitched spasmodically on last time, a whoosh of air escaping lungs that were never to fill again, and unceremoniously the blood-splattered Siamese stepped over the tom’s body with a wolfish grin on her bloodied muzzle as the kit lay trembling, to frightened to flee, to frightened to give much more then a tiny, horrified, scream as jaws clamped down crushingly over its neck – breaking it with not even a part of the pressure they could truly inflict. The real prize here was indeed the tiny kit – perhaps not so much meat pound for pound but the most tender of treats instead.

Heartless devoured the entirety of the kit and the choicest bits from the parents before moving on; leaving the grisly scene of what had once been a happy, hard-working young family for the scavengers.

Brown ears flicked careless as she padded away from the scene of the foul crime, slowly seemingly headed in the direction of what was now known as Boneclan’s new home – a place she very much so knew better, had orders to, avoid at all costs. But there was a certainly berserker deadliness to her prowling, low-slung, graceful walk; and emptiness to her gaze to spoke of the madness that gripped her so violently in its clutches. I am my own master! Her mind could only meow loudly in retaliation to the internal warfare burning inside her – Master did not want this, wanted her to spy on one of the clans or another, they were all about the same in dullness to Heartless anyway, but there was something so strikingly missing. Shinentai had said nothing in the days that passed, and it took a long, long time for her to finally shake off enough of the fog to realize what it was that was missing.

Her kids. Her kits. Chimera, Hopeless, Graffiti. Where were they, her children, her promising killers in the making? Shinentai said nothing, nothing at all, just smiled slightly at her questioning and diverted her attention elsewhere enough for that coiling, ever lurking fog to take over again.

She knew that something struck her as wrong about that, his long, even though more often then not she wasn’t able to really understand it. Her mind was that cunning monster, the refined killer, but it was only when the fog was thinned that she could think on it. The Siamese, the traitor, the nothingness, could not recall eating that trio of youngsters. No. She’d remember that. She liked eating kits, after all, and her children had always, every time, tasted the best to the point of remaining memorable. So that wasn’t it.

They had never returned from that training expedition near Boneclan’s new territory. It was upon that realization that Heartless left the confines of her new so-called home; ignored Carnage’s taunts or Unholy Confession’s quiet look or Duel Void’s clueless confusion. Ignored Master’s sibilant order, curling like an unnatural tendril from the depth of the cavern littered with kit bones. Ignored that smug, knowing looks she had wished to claw off Shinentai’s face – oh, the bastard knew alright. Even with the light rain coming down, now washing some of the drying blood from her pelt, did nothing to stop her from padding across the expanse of otherwise dry, barren rogue lands…not until a scent captured her attention. It tugged at some, something so far away…a pang of confusing hurt lost so far away, so deeply into the depths of the fog, that she could no see it. She could not find it, just like they could never, truly, find her – but it made her stop in light consideration, a shadow sculpted on top of the hill she had just crested, to look away with unseeing eyes. Something there…something not forgotten, never forgotten, but something stolen away that bright now grief the more she dug through her damaged mind to try to relocate it – so much more then her lost kits, so much more then the hardships, so much more then the struggles she had to face then and now.

Heartless knew that scent, and she knew she did even though she could no longer recall who it belong too. Her muzzle parted to take a better breath of the air, trying to catch a better hold on the scent on the dampened ground, but it was so light and fleeting.

A ghost, there and gone, slipping back away into the fog with unseeing eyes, never realizing that she was there and that she was still Heartless. Can you see me…? Bright blue eyes, deep and fathomless, looked over the terrain and a low rowl rumbled from her throat, brown-tipped tail lashing back and forth aggressively. It wouldn’t leave, her madness, it wouldn’t let go of her enough for her to seize what it was that she had lost so savagely into the fog, and irritation joined the anger as she shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind. The fog shifted, turned darker, shimmering with motes that echoed like fireflies….no, no, like that stars that shimmered so far away in the sky, and seized by the savage fit Heartless pawed at her head a few times and then laid down, burning with a fever no herb, no medicine cat, could ever cure.

What would it be like, she wondered, to be a star? To be so far away that no fog, no Master, could ever cloud her mind and control her again.

Maybe I’ll go there too, when I’m free… There was but a slow smile to appear on her muzzle as her eyes drifted close, her head sunk into her paws, and she crashed headlong into a fevered, maddened sleep.

[Amberstar]

<sub>A wail broke through Goldenblaze's thoughts, and he opened his eyes a sliver to stare with a squinted, hazy darkness at the dusty earth before her. Shrieks, yells, terror, snarls, and then a certain hush fell over the valley once more, broken only by the distant patter of rain and opaque mist that settled on everything.

Goldenblaze's tattered ear swiveled forward to face the path he suddenly decided to trot forward onto. He rose onto his feet with a heavy sigh, then slunk once more into the thickets of grass and tall weeds that marked as barriers. As Heartless left, Goldenblaze slipped into view, taking in the surroundings with a thoughtful gaze.
What a family. What a sad fate. His eyes skimmed over the blood and the mess with concealed emotions, but life had given him reality.

sh*t happened.

Fight or die. Kill or be killed.

They were peaceful now though, perhaps all together somewhere, continuing on their happy life. Goldenblaze tilted his head to the side, musing. A massacre. Why did he get the feeling...
Heartless...

He took in the scene once more then raised his thick head, taking in the scents. Blood, more blood, fear, and the subtle hint... A scent he would know better than his own...
Goldenblaze did not question why he had suddenly crossed paths with Heartless once more. He did not ponder, he did not question. He felt no confusion. It was almost as if it had to be. Was meant to be.

As if he expected it.

He followed after the scent peacefully, taking his own time at an easy lope, normally dead eyes now bright and soulful, vibrant. It took only a couple more steps to come silently upon Heartless. She had finally crashed into a fevered, troubled sleep. Goldenblaze took a step, watching her silently. He simply, merely, watched her sleep.

How troubled she seemed, something Goldenblaze couldn't put a paw on. He remembered just watching her sleep, so long ago. How peaceful she seemed, just laying at his side. His ears flicked back as nostalgia washed over him, and he shook his head, almost as if ridding himself of a fly.

He took a step, another step, wordlessly, silently, circled around her, then sat down beside her sleeping body. His red guard hairs barely brushed over her flanks as he settled quietly into place. He did not care if she awoke and attacked. He did not care what happened to him. He simply knew that an instinct, stronger than that of his will to survive, wanted to simply be next to her. Silence was all that Goldenblaze felt in his mind, a peace he had not felt since they first met.

So, sitting next to the volatile cat, that troubled weapon that had once loved him back, he raised his head to the sunset sky, sage-green eyes looking up at the lightning that fell crashing to the sky a long distance away.</sub>

[Heartless]

Scent…scent, what was that? Red dreams, turbulent blood-splattered ones, filled with specters and demons and monsters…no, no, she was the monster, the center, the end to the chaotic world in her mind. The scent, the one she had tried to trail, the one she knew and just couldn’t understand penetrated her fevered mind and her body tossed away restlessly, heatedly, a snarl twisting up her face although she didn’t awaken from her violent, hurtful slumber. The ground was cold, so cold, against the burning of her body, but a solid, heavy, unmoving weight. She couldn’t fall away as she felt as if she were doing with it there. She was only freed on her other side, the one that thought it could leap up so high that she could escape herself, escape the fog and the ties that bind, to join the stars shimmering so far above.

But there were no stars. The tip of her tongue flitter from between barely parted lips as her eyes barely cracked open, the rumble of dangerous thunder as well as flashes of lightning alighting the vague, shaded distance so far away. A horizon, illuminated by bolt after bolt, but the storm was no match for the tempest whirling in her mind, the fog growing and fading before growing so think and heavy that it was nothing like before.

Was this what it was like to be dying? Her cracked, glazed eyes shut again, having never really regained consciousness even then but still lost in that surge, a spangled lightning bolts dancing in the background, something so far away, lighting up the shadows that looked at her through the fog and refused to find her. In her mind she could only reach and keep reaching, keep striving, but there was no one there.

One last defiant lightning bolt, and then Heartless was alone in the darkness of her madness, fog coiling around her paws and without a clue where to go, what to do, who she was and what she could be again. The Siamese let out the weak breath her body had been holding, a rattled, light sound, but her eyes opened. Not cracked, but opened – breathtakingly beautiful, empty creations of Velvetcalamity’s doing. Her Master….her Master – I am my own master! – wouldn’t approve of her being so far away. She was needed…needed… Heartless, but by will alone, rose up a bit from her prone position, looking around as if seeing the area for the first time yet never really truly seeing anything. Not until her gaze landed on the tom, staring, empty, unblinking.

She didn’t attack.

There was the scent again, so much stronger then ever, and it was coming from him. Her tail tip gave a futile flick even as her body sunk under the weight of the illness, no sleep, prolonged travel and fighting, and a constant state of stress could do horrors to even the strongest of felines, and Heartless….monster though she might be, was of no exception to the rule. For some reason her check constricted painfully at the sight of the tom, some bedraggled cat made older by the trials granted to him, but she couldn’t even question why before the fog overtook her again. The she-cat gave a low rumble in threat in the back of her throat, ears flattening back and tail lashing from side to side, eyes narrowing as she stared down the male’s figure and almost willing him to run away before she regained her strength and feasted on yet him too. Uncaring, unyielding, the fog twisted savagely in her mind, causing a sudden howl of pain and that repeated pawing at her head until it was over, empty, nothing. Phantom pain she wasn’t really feeling but released again and again by the chains of her madness, forcing her to suffer each wave until she was left still in its wake, lips peeled back threatening with an unsheathed swipe of her paw in the general direction of the tom.

[Amberstar]

<sub>Just sitting to the side of Heartless could make Goldenblaze see a fraction of the depth of uncontrol she had over herself. He could practically smell the emotions coming off her in waves, battling against it, tumbling over and over, lost, confused...
Emotions not even Goldenblaze could fathom. It was almost an eerie mist coming off her, the sickness that controlled her. Yet she continued to sleep, and Goldenblaze continued to sit. Simply sitting, revelling in the peace within him that had been found only with his acceptance of death. The only emotion that erred his mild manner, the only flaw, was his concern for the cat that was in a tumult of emotions beside him.

Then she awoke.

The glassy look in her eye, such emotions Goldenblaze had never once seen on her face, not even when she killed for Boneclan, spun around it's sky blue colors. Even Goldenblaze's breath caught in his throat at the sight of them, but he remained unsure. This Heartless was no where near the one that had once loved him. But it did not alarm him. He continued to look up, just watching her from his periphereal vision.

She was so uncontrollable it was rather heartbreaking for the old tom. He could tell she was willing him to run, thriving for the chase, but Goldenblaze didn't move a single muscle. As she began to paw at her head, trying to make sense of anything, he turned his head a fraction to glance at her.

Then, she took a swipe.

Not even, as he saw it coming, did he move. He didn't try to defend himself, didn't try to block it or dodge. He simply closed his eyes as the very tip of her claw ran itself across his cheek. It was a hairline thick, and not much more deeper, but a thin ribbon of blood inched out from the corner closest to his nose.

He turned to face her completely, a motley of emotions; pain, anger, sorrow, hurt, love, happiness, joy, swirled in his eyes as he watched her.
Do what you will to me, Heartless... He said softly, his voice just as quiet as the rain.

I would sooner stop my own beating heart than raise a claw to you, anyways.</sub>

[Heartless]

Blood.

Blood again, that static, uncontrollable scent, tainted the water-scented ground with it, changing it, twisting it…oh hell, she didn’t even know anymore. There was no bloodlust because she had sated her hunger earlier and, having learned not to long long ago in days lost into the fog, she never ate her fill at any kill. It was easier to move and to fight without a full stomach dragging one down. Blood again, that electric intriguing scent…but somehow, his was wrong. She couldn’t question as to why the scent reeked rather then enthralled, blood was normally blood after all, making her wrinkle her nose and sneeze before leaning away.

Perhaps, even more confusing of a babble to her lost mind, were the tom’s words. Was the fact that the tom knew her name…or was that even her name? Could she remember? Why couldn’t she remember… Her attention broke, twisting in that same falsified painful way, enough that she rubbed her head against an outstretched foreleg. That scent… That scent… It was haunting, stirring up the fog in so many ways that she didn’t understand, that shouldn’t be happening…why was it happening? This trigger, this tom-cat…there was another twist of her heart, like long claws digging so painfully into her chest. Enough so and so violently she went still again, seeming to try to fight her way through the fog, to follow a scent trail she was no longer meant to find.

Heartless could give chase even if she wanted too. “Go.” She finally chose to say, the word so much stronger then she should have been able to utter at this time. “Go before I kill you.” A hiss, low and dangerous, but wouldn’t this be so much easier? If the tom just went that she would have to fight the fog more then necessary, she would find her lost kits and wander off with them back to her now-home. This cat…

…she knew this cat, didn’t she? Heartless shook, a tremble, a blink in her blank look for there to be just a glimmer of herself in the lost depths, before slipping back away. Why couldn’t she just remember? The stars were gone. Where they ever really there to begin with? That peaceful feeling was gone, the thoughts of even a dared suggestion breathed about so-called freedom. Freedom didn’t exist, did it? …did it? With each passing moment she was more and more lost in the fog, more and more striving for something she just could not find again; could not seem to understand no matter how much she wished to.

“I knew you once, didn’t I? The me before the monster; the me lost somewhere…so far away.” She finally uttered, her voice low and quiet, but her gaze was of that of a barely controlled predator simply trying to cling to survival. Lie or not Heartless was certain it wouldn’t matter anyway; she was in no condition to travel or fight at full capacity until the blazing fever that made her body burn so hot, her muscles and bones ache, faded away. This tom might not look like much but he could attempt to do her in, so she made sure all defensive capabilities were set the best that she could as she attempted to edge a bit away to place more space between the two of them. A fool’s gambit – the motion stirred up her mind and this was real pain that she groaned from, burying her face in her paws fro a moment with another shudder, before her gaze barely opened and flicked in the tom’s direction. “Free me…” It was a pathetic plea, those words…but she wanted the fog to go away. She wanted to be her own master again, to be <i>Heartless</i> again…because that cat was still there, somehow, lost somewhere in the depths of the killer, the drone, the monster.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>So tortured, so troubled she was, it was rather heartbreaking. Even after he felt the small sliver of blood slip into the cold, ruthless world, she pawed at her head more. Was she trying to get rid of her emotions? Get rid of what she was seeing? Get rid of her sickness? Anything? Goldenblaze didn't know, but he knew it made him want to cross the gap she had allowed between them and comfort her.

But he didn't dare.

Not to say he was worried for his well being, but simply he worried that it would do more harm than good for unstable Heartless. Send her into a rage, push her farther.

He closed his eyes as if to shield himself from the madness that was his former mate, block out the pain of the image. Someday. Someday he hoped she would not feel the pain and confusion she felt now.

Go.
Go before I kill you.
No, Heartless. I have nothing to protect, nothing to defend.

... If you so want to kill me, my last thoughts will not be me running from you. I will face you, watch you, never let me forget...

He whispered quietly, keeping his eyes closed as he sat there, letting his thoughts run mild circles around his mind. He couldn't even continue his sentence.

Never let me forget your face, even as I died.

If death wanted him so quickly, he would not run or fear it. He would rise up to greet it with grace. He was dying from the inside out for so long. How ironic the last time he would be sane was the last moments, days, before his demise?

And she spoke. It was still spoken with that harsh voice that was Heartless but isn't. But he could hear it subtly, weaving in and out of her words, falling and rising. So inconspicuous was it, that only Goldenblaze could have caught it. The memory of her alone was what enabled Goldenblaze to catch it.

.... Once. A long time ago He whispered painfully, but he finally opened his eyes to look at her, his intelligent eyes watching, seeing, believing.
Free me...

Oh, death seemed so tempting an idea. It wove around him, caressing him, promising that everything.. everything... would go away.
The sickness in his mind had already taken hold, but only for Heartless could Goldenblaze simply hung on...
Goldenblaze needed peace in his mind before death could finally come and claim him. He needed Heartless, more than he needed his heart to beat, more than he needed air to breathe.

I will, Heartless. I promised... I promised.....

I promise.</sub>

[Heartless]

That was, maybe, all she needed to truly hear.

A promise.

Brilliant blues blinked a few times slowly, darkened fog-inflicted depths a hazy slowness before Heartless finally took a breathe she could not keep herself from taking; her body’s will to live by far outweighing even the vaguest hopes at freedom her mind could conjure. Even so, as the spiral path slowly tugged her downward – downward - should could help but to realize there was a bit of relief towards the strange tom that she could hardly even remember.

He promised. And whatever it was worth it still meant something, somewhere, and that was something to reach out with unsheathed claws and hold onto for all it was worth. But promises were nothing.. Her mind tempted to lure from its depths, with a voice that echoed of Master’s tainted poison, reeked of long dead, rotting carrion left to waste away in the sun. The stars were too far away for her to find her way back to them – maybe that’s where her kits had gone.

Shinentai had done it. He had taken away her children to the stars, so that they could find their freedom where she herself could not. Was that it? Could that possibly be it? Those twinkling motes above, long dead souls of those bygone…but even the most careless of her eyes could not bring her young ones in sight. Those times that she wasn’t eating her children, the mad she-cat was certain a good mother – defensive and protective over her children.

Perhaps this tom knew, too. Their scents were all over him.

But even that tendril of thought too wandered away to leave her in shadowed, coiling darkness. Again. It never went away, ever as she pressed her muzzle into a deathly still silence against her paws, never let her gone. Someone, even she still knew, she had once been like him, been like them….even been like Shinentai too, in a sense, free from this prison. Free from the shackles that chained her into the fog, left to wander lost and alone but for the creeping sensation of Master’s hollow voice in her head. The fever burned strongly, so much so that her energy finally ebbed and drained completely to leave her lying there as a marked wet bundle of shiver, cold fur; her eyes slipping close as the darkness circled in like a pack of hungry, monstrous wolves and overtook her a last time. Unprotected though she was, there would be little hope of her moving again and finding a better place, or even defending herself if another came across her.

If Barbwire came across her. If Sharpfang came across her. Their teeth would be stained red from such an encounter, a bloodied pelt to be proudly dropped at Bane’s paws for the removal of a clan killer, a traitor that had once been amongst the first, been amongst the best. One that was now in a state of physical prowess like none she had attained back in the clan, but so far gone to the other side that there was just so little to even try to get back.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Heartless had sank once more into a troubled, restless sleep. As if to protect her, Goldenblaze sunk wearily to his belly, nudging himself closer as if to keep her warm, trying to keep her dark thoughts at bay.

... As if it would have worked. But Goldenblaze lay his chin over her back, closing his eyes. He did not sleep, he had no need for it. He would protect her, as if sensing and feeling the vulnerability that surrounded her.

---

I think... I think it's over here Called out Barbwire, sniffing the tall grass. Sharpfang turned his head, cursing at the weather. Though the rain was patternless and light, it had caused them trouble in tracking the runaway tom. At the sound of Barbwire's voice, he raised his head and padded to her side. He gave an affirmative nod and led the way through the tunnel-like passageways of the tall grass, until he stumbled upon a gruesome sight. He stepped away and backed into Barbwire, he growled then ceased at the sight.

So much blood and death hung around this poor little family's home. Barbwire managed to stare at it in horror. Sharpfang retched slightly, eyes narrowed. But her lust for the blood coating the cats had been held at bay by a single scent that surrounded it...

Heartless... She muttered, much to Sharpfang's confusion. She took the leading, ignoring the horrible scene to stumble upon...

Her mother and father!

She snarled, to which Sharpfang gave a rumbling purr. Gol'nblaze, ol tom, you caught th'trait'r He said with a rumbling purr, thick as if on the eve of a cough. But Goldenblaze remained motionless, a low growl rumbling from his chest as he watched Sharpfang advance towards him. And y'got her righ where we wants'er. 'sleep, 'n weak. Let's get her He snarled suddenly, bounding forward.

Yes, she was weak and vulnerable, and Sharpfang would have dutifully brought her to Bane, if not for one small teensy weensy little problem.

He had assumed Goldenblaze to be dying and weak, sluggish from his lack of animation these past few months. What he was not expecting, however, was to be met with flashing gold eyes and a terrible snarl, and he was flung bodily away. What he was not expecting, was for Goldenblaze to leap to his feet as quick as a rabbit's fleeting run and fight back.

He landed in the dust with a thick cough, spitting out some spit as he unsteadily got to his feet. He turned to look at first with shock, then anger, as he watched Goldenblaze remain on all fours, silently watching. What're y'doin', Gol'nblaze? Are ya a trait'r, like yer ol' mate? He wheezed, eyes blazing, showing his snaggletooth. How dare he go against Bane's orders!!

But Barbwire could do no more than stare, immobilized by a fear she had never felt before. Ya choose tha'scruffy bitch who dun ev'n love you no more over the one cat tha' ever took pity on ya? Jealousy suddenly bubbled over the poor old deputy, and he looked at Goldenblaze with shameless, pure jealousy and hatred. He had won over Heartless. The image of Goldenblaze standing beside Bane on the rock flashed over his mind, and he gave a snarl. He was a dying old tom. What did everybody see in him?

Bane was wrong... You aren' loyal to Boneclan. You choose her o'er him, and she never even loved you, or she woulda come back for you, innit? Now to tell Bane that he had one more traitor in his midst, so he turned away, when he felt a searing pain across his flanks. He yowled outloud and spun around to face Goldenblaze, fury in his eyes not seen in him since before the war.

And suddenly it was a furious whirlwind of teeth, claws, and unmasked hatred; fury and hate that could have only taken years to build out finally came cascading out in the blood that hit the floor. Stop! Stop it! Yowled Barbwire, and she raced forward to break them up, but she was met with the teeth and claws of her enraged father fighting to protect his mate. She stepped back in shock, her back and cheek raked in deep bloody gashes. Her father...

Was no longer as he and Sharpfang spun around in a flawless dance of battling wits, brawn, strength, hatred, fury. However, Goldenblaze's many months of mourning showed against Sharpfang, though the deputy was old and growing sickly over the years. He finally threw down the massive gold tom, biting into his shoulder, watching the blood flow. Goldenblaze was... dead?

Sharpfang chuckled, stepping over the body of his forever enemy, now aiming for Heartless. But he did not see the gold tom rise, and it was too late when Barbwire shouted out. He felt teeth around his neck. He struggled, yowling and snarling, fear entering his eyes. He dragged, he pulled, he yanked, and Barbwire rushed forward once more. But it was too late.

BANE! He shouted into the night just as teeth found throat.
And thus was the end of Sharpfang, deputy of the greatest Clan that had ever been known. He had died as he lived; Serving Bane.

Barbwire skittered to a halt, sending up dust as Goldenblaze dropped Sharpfang's body to the floor. He looked up, blood covering his mouth, eyes livid with untamed, feral fury. He advanced on her, but she skittered away, having her mother's long legs to escape into the night.

But Goldenblaze only wanted to protect Heartless, so he dared not stray from her side. With Barbwire escaped into the night, he sought out Heartless in the dark and lay down once more beside her, licking his wounds, the dead body of Sharpfang going unnoticed. Then the rain began to pour down.</sub>

[.::Shinentai ;; Dual Void::.]

"Is each of us a creature free
Or trapped at birth by destiny?
Pity those who believe the latter;
Without freedom, nothing matters."

Mother’s divine light, her glorious control, over her eldest child had slipped and waned as time had grown on. Shinentai knew her newer litter, his three younger half-brothers, was so enthralled by her might that they could not be wavered. But the massive tom-cat did not concern himself with any of the trio anymore. No, not at all. Not at all. Heartless held such promise to whatever scope of long-reaching plans the silver cat perhaps might have been considering, and that of her surviving kits that he had dropped off in Boneclan, but now.

Heartless had fled. She, perhaps, had taken some time to understand that her kits were missing, and now had gone to find them. A pity really, but as time passed – night after night of the she-cat’s missing at their meetings and Mother’s growing agitation and hostility, something needed to be done. Without the beast’s combination of poisons, hallucinogens, the Siamese would slowly fade away, a fire flicking out, and it was that which originally drove the tom outward into what was looking to be one hell of a storm.

He had not in particular been expecting to find what he was destined to have found.

Blood in and of itself was not an unusual scent when it came to Heartless – she was a skilled killer and her particular taste fro feline flesh often meant that she was reeking with some sort of blood-scent or other. But it wasn’t her, curled up in a weak ball and sleeping fitfully from her fever, that had done the killing of the Boneclanner, but of that of her golden mate. Well. This certainly had placed a wrenched into his well oiled plans that he had not been suspecting, but the scheming Shinentai was not put off by what was presented to him. There was another scent, another she-cat – that of one of Heartless’ older kits, fleeing away.

Carefully the monstrous cat padded forward towards the two stilled warriors, mindful that the ratty tom that was her mate could spring forward at any moment. Unnaturally long claws, forever half peeking from their sheaths, were poised like coiled springs – just in case, but he’d rather not use them. This tom could prove to be a valuable asset. “You’ll have to get up, Goldenblaze. They will come, and then your sacrifice here would be made in vain.” Ethereal serpentine green eyes, slitted and narrowed against the harsh downpour, watched the tom for a moment. “I’ll help you carry her. It’s some distance, but I know of shelter.”

One blessing the rain brought; it would completely cover their trail. Even so, Shinentai also planned to lead away a false one to keep any search parties off their tracks.

[Barbwire]

<sub>The rain pounding down on him was like putting an extinguisher to a fire. It drowned out his rage and made him feel only a cold numbness. He did his best to use his large, ragged body to cover Heartless, hoping to keep the rain at bay from her. But it didn't stop him from shivering, and it wasn't from the cold.

What had he done? What Sharpfang had said... He was a traitor now. Memories of when he had first been accepted into Boneclan rushed through his head. He had pledged his allegiance to Bane... Fought on his behalf... Earned himself his recognition throughout Boneclan, and became one of their strongest warriors. He was loyal through and through, but now...

What made it different now from then? Well, Heartless. Regretfully, he looked down at his paws. He hadn't intended to choose sides, still lost on the border... Bane, or Heartless...
His anger had chosen for him. But he cared little what happened now, so long as Heartless was safe. But how to keep her safe?

He opened his golden-sage eyes through thin slits, ears flattened against his head. Was someone here already to claim him dead? He was not expecting to see Shinentai standing above him, speaking to him. Not to say he was surprised. He certainly was a curious cat.

He noted subconciously that his claws were half-sheathed, and he seemed wary. But Goldenblaze had no qualms with the strange tom-cat. And he was promising them shelter. And where there was shelter there was safety for Heartless. Wordlessly, he got to his feet, casting an emotionless look upon Sharpfang.

.... Be in vain.

With his bloody jaws he picked up Heartless as best as he could almost tenderly, being careful not to bite hard enough to draw blood. He glanced at Shinentai through weary eyes, waiting for him to lead the way.</sub>

[.::Shinentai ;; Dual Void::.]

"Is each of us a creature free
Or trapped at birth by destiny?
Pity those who believe the latter;
Without freedom, nothing matters."

Shinentai watched and waited for the golden tom to react – there was no immediate attack, perhaps lucky for the smaller, unhealthy cat now that his fury had left him at the wash of the cleansing rain. But it appeared as if the tom wasn’t about to allow the large cat near his weakened mate, taking it upon himself to lift her up carefully by her scruff to look at him with weary, watchful eyes. He gave one last parting glance to the dead old tom then moved off – the scavengers would deal with the dead if the clan did not come to collect what they believed to be theirs.

It would be quite some time, seconds passing into minutes and then minutes into hours, before the tom finally stopped and looked around, his tail flicking with a sudden new air heeding on caution. “Wait here.” There would be little denying the rolling, rumbling command that would be sharp in the massive tom’s voice, and after a quick, narrow-eyed glanced back at the other tom and his burden he moved forward and vanishing into the undergrowth.

For a moment there would be nothing but silence, followed by voices – Shinentai’s and another – before a high, light, giddy and mad giggle could be heard and the glimpse of a small and lean black tom darting away. Shinentai returned but moments later and stared down Goldenblaze and his careful burden for a long, long moment before finally speaking. “While you are here, you need to keep well away from Carnage.” The voice was flat, without even the hint of emotion, before he moved to their immediate right and brushed aside some of the long grass, revealing the opening of a well-worn den. Jerking his tail for the tom to follow Shinentai easily entered, revealing that this was to be the entrance into a small cave beneath this section of the rogue meadow, with a certain opening that promised to lead to a much larger space beneath the ground. Echoing from that direction would be the occasional rise and fall of voices, remaining just muffled enough for the words to be incapable of being understood.

Shinentai waited for Goldenblaze to enter and, hopefully, set Heartless down someplace before addressing the other cat. “These are my own personal dens. While you remain here, you are not to leave this area without myself accompanying you….do you understand? I will not be responsible for horrible acts will be done to you if you choose to do so – there are some things worse then your greatest nightmares that lurk with the dark here.” He glanced at Heartless and then back to Goldenblaze before continuing. “You will not have to fear of company – no one, not even Her will enter here without my permission. You will be safe. Get settled with Heartless, I am going to leave for a bit to catch something for the both of you to eat as well as return with the herbs that make her….well, again, in the sense of her existence now.”

The large tom would wait for acknowledgement, before vanishing back the way they had come.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Goldenblaze had taken it upon himself to carry her, and much to his relief, Shinentai didn't appear concerned over it. So, he hefted her up to lean slightly on his shoulder to make it less of a hassle, being careful not to trod on her tail, following Shinentai's footstep pawstep for pawstep.

Where was he bringing them? To the territories of him and his fellows? To where Heartles... belonged now? To their master? It made his blood slightly cold at the thought of any cat that had made such a work out of Heartless; a cat [was it even a cat?] that he both feared and hated.
It occurred to Goldenblaze for a couple heartbeats that he could have just as easily brought the location back to Bane. Yet, somehow in his heart, he knew Bane wouldn't believe him after being born the news that he had killed his deputy. Bane would no longer trust him as he once did... No longer, no longer.

And with this thought, Goldenblaze knew his only job was to protect Heartless and make her better. His kits didn't matter anymore; they were in good paws now. He hoped they would not be punished for his acts... But Bane was not like that. The only thing that mattered was the cat that he carried now.

Wait here.

The words brought Goldenblaze 'round to his senses, and he gave a stumbling heart, almost losing grip of Heartless. He disappeared quietly, and Goldenblaze flicked his ear and the tatty excuse of his other ear forward. He tilted his head slightly at the sound of words, and the mad cackle of another cat made his fur stand on end and his blood run cold, before he watched a darker cat dart out of the way.

Stay away from Carnage? Goldenblaze had no inclination to even go near that cat; the way his fur stood up already told him that. He moved onwards wordlessly after Shinentai, and it was with some amazement that he realized these cats were literally underground. He slipped in silently, taking a look around, giving a wary expression near the source of the sound of voices.

He understood, he understood fully. He had no want to leave Heartless's side. He found her, nothing held him back, and he would make sure she was sound until the day he finally passed away.

There are some things worse then your greatest nightmares that lurk with the dark here Shinentai spoke, and Goldenblaze looked sidelong at Heartless similarly. His ear flicked back sadly, and he slowly set her down. At least they would not be bothered; not even by her. He watched Shinentai. Would he keep his promise? He had no reason to break it, of course, as far as Goldenblaze, but he had already proven to be quite intelligent in his mindset.

Decisively, he decided to trust this fellow for the time being, and he gave him an affirmative nod.</sub> .... Understood.[/sub]

[.::Shinentai ;; Dual Void::.]

"Is each of us a creature free
Or trapped at birth by destiny?
Pity those who believe the latter;
Without freedom, nothing matters."

Time would pass. Again, seconds to minutes to hours – but Shinentai’s words would be true, in a sense. No one showed up to bother the duo left within the large, cold tom’s quarters although the sense of them certainly not being alone would continued to permeate the air; an occasional twitch of whispered whiskers and glint of green eyes that would flick and vanish. Time would be everything and endless in a place not guided by the moon and the sun.

In this time Shinentai would have firstly gone back to the scene of the brutal murder of Boneclan’s past deputy, taking a moment to turn on the body and rip and rend and tear into flesh to get the tom’s scent all over him and streak off – heading off as quickly as he could and place as much distance between himself and the body. This might have taken much more time that he wanted to use, however, if they decided to try hunting down the killer they would find themselves far from where Goldenblaze had been taken. He took a long dunk into the frigid waters of a standing pool as the rain chanced to pour down harder then before, taking off back towards him.

On the way, he waylaid a chubby squirrel that had been waterlogged by the downpour and unable to escape him in time, killing it was a crushing bite before returning to the den. Instead of entering he dropped the kill at his paws and kicked it into the den, hopefully not hard enough to give Goldenblaze too bad of a startle, before heading for the particular bunch of herbs he needed. Now this task in particular was a little more difficult in the long run, but once again the rain was in his favor – his brothers had taken to their own dens for the night instead of facing it, giving him the chance to enter the certain hidden small dry cavern Mother insisted they were stored it. It only took another second to get the ones he needed, nothing to accelerate her condition, before turning to head back across the way and slip into his own den.

He glanced at Goldenblaze for a moment before dropping the herbs, the roof his mouth tingling after carrying them. “If you can wake her get her to eat the herbs and some of the freshkill.” He said nothing more to his…almost unwelcomed guests, as he was a cat who liked only his solitude and grudgingly the now-seemingly missing Fair’s company, and headed over to the far side of his den to stretch out his bulk and groom the dampness from his fur.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Time passed into the surrounding darkness, joining the flickering images of silver whiskers, green eyes; the soft mutterings of things moving just beyond sight. All this did not go unnoticed by Goldenblaze, who curled closer to Heartless, putting his head over her back to keep an eye on everything. Yet, time passed, and he too closed his eyes.

The flickers and mutters slipped from reality through the cracks into his subconscious, and he couldn't tell real life from his dreams as they melted together. He twitched his ears in discomfort, his fur raised slightly along his spine, and even shivered as the soft inaudible words came too close to him in his dreams. His breath came out ragged, uneven.

The sound of a light thump echoed into the cavern, and Goldenblaze jerked, fur raising more, panting heavily as he sought out the source of the noise, only to notice a rather well-for-worn rabbit laying nearby the entrance. He swallowed, closing his eyes and shaking his head as if to rid himself of the dreams that still clung at him. The voices and flickers were still there, but still in the darkness. He looked around warily, getting up and padding swiftly over to the rabbit, seizing it by a leg and dragging it back to Heartless, laying it before her. Still she did not wake, and he dropped back to his belly beside her, nibbling at the side of the rabbit as if tempting himself to eat it.

But his appetite was well lost at this point.

As Shinentai arrived back, he turned his head to glance at him, golden eyes gleaming with guarded curiosity. He was to feed it to her, it appeared. He rose to a sitting position, grabbing the edge of the herb, then retracted a bit at the tingling sensation that had been caused on the tip of his tongue. He closed his eye and dragged it closer anyways. And, with careful precision, he tore off a long strip of the tender rabbit, smearing his muzzle and the herb with the tantalizing scent of blood off the fresh-killed rabbit. Carefully, he wrapped it in the blood and flesh as if to tempt Heartless with the taste. He licked her nose, then gently pushed the meat into her mouth, trying to get her to swallow the small bit.

He sighed, watching her as if willing her to down the meat, then licked at her cheek sadly, ignoring Shinentai for the time being. It was clear he wanted to be left well alone; which was fine, Goldenblaze wanted to be left to his own devices with Heartless. So he lay there, licking her cheek, waiting and watching.</sub>

[Heartless]

Blood.

Was it her imagination? Another dream? Heartless was floating in the dark world of her mind, closed to the more turbulent of moments, violent flashes and impulses…somewhere lost, floating in that darkness. But the blood’s scent was like an electric flash tearing through the shadows, something hot and heady on the tip of the worn she-cat’s tongue.

Bright blue eyes finally fluttered open for a second, tongue flicking as she chomped down on the flesh in her mouth and devoured it, before giving a weak snap in the general direction of the closer of the two tom-scents. She recognized Shinentai’s easily enough, as well as fairly quickly understood where she was – his dens…so that meant for whatever reason she had been brought back home.

She smelled more of that savory blood, as well as food, and gave a low rumble in the back of her throat with a flick of a brown-tipped tail to signify her impatience and weary annoyance, whiskers twitching as she attempted to find where the rest of that scent was coming from. Heartless didn’t, however, attempt to rise from where she was currently laying.