Wander
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I wont sooth your pain.... i wont ease your strain. I just look like i will.
Posts: 19
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Post by Wander on May 21, 2009 23:55:45 GMT -5
Name: Fireclaw Age: 23 moon's Gender: Tom Personality: A hyper funny joker,*aren’t we all * When it comes to Big stuff He's the one who is the most serious. He has a harsh side and a soft side, it’s hard when he feels love he get hard and tries not to feel... love. Description: FireClaw, built for Speed His paws are light and fast and his back legs push his body even faster his pelt is white and his paw are a golden brown the rest looks like he is being swallowed by blackness. His eyes are an Inescapable jail, His Crystal clear water Blue is so Deep and rich and yet colder and colder and soon you feel like your being swallowed up whole by blackness its self but you feel no fear. History: He has been an orphan all his life, his mother died during birth and his father ran off before he was born; He has been looking for his father since. and he found a mate and she was killed with his unborn kit, He vowed to his dying mate that he wouldn't take revenge if she died but if the kit died kill them she said and he has killd one the other one is his father so he has to bones to pick with him, He has found love again but still feels heart break to his dead mate. He is afraid that if he shows that he loves her his Emmys will kill her when she is expecting and he just can’t risk her so he left her and she was heart-broken, because she was expecting she was going to tell him but he left and soon she will have her kit hopefully she will find FireClaw before it's too late and she dies just like his mother did. Other:
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Post by Bane on May 22, 2009 7:31:12 GMT -5
You're right, spelling and a short description. Please spellcheck it (paste it into Word) and check your punctuation (capitals in the wrong places, spaces after commas) then add more to your description then i'll consider accepting.
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Wander
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I wont sooth your pain.... i wont ease your strain. I just look like i will.
Posts: 19
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Post by Wander on May 27, 2009 18:35:02 GMT -5
Oh! Thank you Bane! i will be edit it! Thanks Alot!
-Wander
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Post by Bane on May 28, 2009 1:32:40 GMT -5
You still need to spellcheck it.
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Post by Bane on May 30, 2009 2:57:57 GMT -5
You still have some errors in your use of capitals but I'll accept this =)
Just remember that you should only use capitals for the names of people and places, and at the beginning of sentences. Where you have:
"His eyes are an Inescapable jail, His Crystal..."
it should read:
"His eyes are an inescapable jail, his crystal..."
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Wander
*
I wont sooth your pain.... i wont ease your strain. I just look like i will.
Posts: 19
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Post by Wander on May 30, 2009 12:24:08 GMT -5
Oh thank you!
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