already . over . now

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>The sky darkened into a dark, ominous grey overhead. It was the color of an angry ocean, threatening rain. All life had escaped from around this bloodstained territory. Not even prey ventured here anymore. Ghosts were told to have been seen wandering this depressing site.

The plants seemed wilted from lack of life around it. Rain began to flood in a light drizzle onto the small area of Rogue Meadows. It darkened the bloodstained dust, though those marks were long-since faded.

The rain brought about a thick fog, suffocating the abandoned camp. It swirled around the tall grass. And the rock, under which once stood Bane's den. A pair of cat eyeballs hung there. Few knew why anymore. It closed around a large rock in the distance. It was unremarkable to the passing, but it was Heartless's home, once. One that she shared with the now broken Goldenblaze.

A shaded area [at least it would be if the sun were shining] was where Barbwire had fought with Sharpfang, and Heartless and sparred with Spiderlilly. In the middle of this all, being rained upon by the grey rain, was a golden and white and red tom. He remained stationary in the middle of his old home, his head bowed against the cold and the rain. His once handsome fur hung in ragged clumps over a bony frame. His once blazing, golden, firey eyes had turned grey.

He didn't even look at those parts of the camp. He looked at the rugged ground, pockmarked with pawsteps of the mighty. The once mighty.

It wasn't ghosts that haunted Goldenblaze on this evening. It was the ghosts of his memories, the ghosts of his past. He didn't know a home beside this. His home was here, surrounded by Boneclan cats as Bane called out calculated announcements, Barbwire tussled with the latest cat to aggravate her, and Heartless... A choked sob escaped his muzzle. Nostalgia had tempted him back here. Memories were all that kept this broken tom alive. Not even his beloved daughter, no matter how hard she tried to keep him in one piece.

Most thought him crazy. He had lost his mind as Heartless finally fell from hers. They left the only home he'd ever known, right here. They were once mighty, they were once feared. He was once handsome, he was once powerful, he was once proud and unstoppable. He once had a mate, his love, and the one he'd ever die for.
But that was once. It was already over now.</sub>

[Heartless]

breaking • slowly • take all you want from me

It was one of those sorts of dismal days where a feline did themselves a world of good just staying in their warm and dry den, curled up with a friend or even a loved one. But this lone cannibal, cutting a cruel path silently through the abandoned lands of what she could only recall as warmth and light and filled with memories, had no dry den to go back to. Master wouldn’t allow it. She had no friends, nor a loved one to curl with, to groom and share funny anecdotes of different occurrences in their past.

There was nothing for the original cannibal kitty anymore but existence, something she was lucky enough to even had. The Siamese looked up, raindrops splattering across her brown-marked tan fur and running clear tracks, like tears even, to splatter on the ground at her paws. It was like she woke from a doze, a trance, not realizing her paws had led her back into the old Boneclan camp. Where she had, moons before, encountered and confronted Bane…and her sorry pest of a daughter, Barbwire. And then, moons before that…

Were there not so many memories in this place? Ghosts that lingered and flickered through her past – tales of glorious days where the sun shone high and bright overhead. She would be laying there, amongst the bustle of the day – watching as young Zinstorm assisted Razorblade in his den --

what to do • what to do now what to do • Bane was dead • blood everywhere blood everywhere • all she could do was stand there and stare helplessly • helplessly as the bond of loyalty • of life • of everything she had fought and dreamed for slipped away • slipped away • and then there was darkness • screaming • a flash of fur, the taste of crimson blood • Razorblade lay there dead too • dead too • and Heartless was gone

--nothing now, right? It was already over now. There was nothing left but those dim ghosts, ones that she could see flick and cavort through the camp now. Zinstorm and Cinderstorm playing now, little dinners that taunted her now that she could no longer threaten to eat them. Old Darkazure, lofty and watching the younger clan cats in their play yet still as hard working and tirelessly vicious as the rest of them. Spiderlily, her undisputed hated rival – who she would spend hours at a time sparring with until both of them lay panting, unable to budge and make another swipe at one another in sheer exhaustion.

Maybe they had been friends too, after all.

fading • slowly

And then there was her best of friends, Night, padding back into camp with her tail held high as she carried some newly killed birds over to the freshkill pile, depositing them and then looking around fresh for trouble. Pripyat was there, speaking to Scythepaw and Panic, while keeping and ever close eye on Spiderlily.

He did love her, you know.

Bane would come into camp and leap upon the Highrock, yowling for a camp meeting and they would all assemble, listen, and leave with hearts burning the pride. They saw him as a god. She saw him as a friend to be mutually respected, and ally to stand back to back with in the fray until the bitter end.

But someone was missing, and the Siamese glanced around as if those ghosts she saw were truly real, actually there, pale baby blue eyes widen. In her mind’s eyes the tom had padded into camp, as proud and healthy and powerful as he always been, his silly one-eared self, but then that image changed as she blinked her eyes and that ghosts swept away with the fog.

A figure remained.

He was in shambles, wasn’t he? Heartless, insane though she quite well was, gripped firmly back on to reality and realized that Goldenblaze was actually standing there. Right there, in the middle of what had once been their home, of the lands they had been driven away from. He was a mess, wasted away slowly until he was nothing.

Was that what they were becoming? Nothing?

Like those specters of the felines that haunted these lands, Heartless slid confidently forward, half-circling her wasted mate until she was to his front – sitting down with burning, loose eyes as her brown-tipped tail tapped the earth. Could he see her too; or was she just a ghost in his world as he was in hers?

Could he...try?

Static.

The fog is rising. The fog rises and then it spreads evenly its thickness; no light can still penetrate it. Words of Bane’s death...a flash of pain...a crash, a loss, the fog.

I can't see still. I am Heartless...and I remember the fog, and I do remember Bane and the others. They appear and disappear in the fog...and somehow I know they have the power to dispel this darkness. Or, at the very least, contain it. Control it. I am my only master.

Velevetcalamity is my Master. I am her drone.

If only...if only they could help me. End this darkness. Contain it, lock it away...let patterns of brightness echo and shatter the fog. If only.

But they don't see me inside the fog still. Perhaps...perhaps it is thicker on their side. They don't see me...and I cannot see them. The fog is perhaps too great for either of us to find each other. Blind, groping in the black, giving up the other for lost.

I am not lost...merely disoriented here. Forever. And alone...alone in this darkness. With a Master, a slave, a heart...forever.

Boneclan, my com [targets] rades. They can't find me. They won't.

But sometimes...through the fog [when it does lift, sometimes, and the faces match the memories, and all the dreams are clear], I remember...and I wish...that they would.

Don't they see me...?

Can they...try?

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Oh, god, those days were the good ones. Almost as if the same images played through Goldenblaze's mind. Like in a scratchy, jumpy, old projector as it sped through it's film on fast forward. There was Bane, Spiderlilly, Scythepaw, Razorblade, Heartless, Sharpfang, Pripyat, Zinstorm, Cinderstorm, Misery, Barbwire...

The name's sped through his mind, fighting his sanity. Just die, already. What's stopping you? You're a wasted old tom whose not good for anything anymore It told him. His single ear flicked, but that was all the movement from the tom. Other than that, he was as still as the dead. Not even his shallow breath showed movement in his thin sides. The rain and the cold numbed him, and chased away his tormenting thoughts.

At least, that's what it typically did. For he thought he saw her in the fog. Perhaps he'd be better off dead. He saw the looks the others gave him; pity, irritation. He'd lost it, he'd lost it all. His will, his home, his family.

What was that? He raised his head fractionally. There was a cat coming towards him in the fog. Was he dead? How much he wished, he hadn't seen that face since she first perished to her unstable mind. The rain drizzled off his muzzle, falling off his ears onto his slick forehead, coating his eyes. He had to be seeing the ghost the rogues spoke so much about. Initially he did not believe in such myths, but perhaps he was being proven wrong. He kept his eyes straight as she circled him once and sat down in front of him, keeping silent.

You came Was all he said, his voice barely audible against the quiet rain and smothered by the mist that swirled around them. He blinked his dead eyes, staring straight into hers.</sub>

[Heartless]

It was already gone, wasn’t it? Everything that had been or ever would be – faded back into the fog the swept forward and overtook the world. Like the gaping maw of Fenris, bowed down to devour the world into everlasting night…and then the scents of this place cleared the fog, however marginally, and Heartless was left staring at the decrepit form of Goldenblaze. It…really was him, right? Those times she did remember she figured that the tom would have simply gone and found another mate, such a fact that had appeared more and more likely as time passed on. He hadn’t even known if she still lived or not? Yet, this fact merely did not appear to be the case – as he blinked and his dead eyes rose to meet hers.

Hers. Bright and clear now that the fog did not cloud them, still that same baby blue colors of summer skies. Quite the opposite of her mate, in the time of her absence Heartless had toned to a machine of pure fighting muscle; every bit of her shaped to do what the Master ordered. The peek of health, still in the prime of her life, yet something remained oddly missing with the cannibal – almost as if she were, indeed, one of those ghosts that were said to haunt these lands. Many ghosts lingered across the barren camp, hunted down old and familiar worn trails. It was just that few could really see them.

Maybe she was a ghost. Maybe she had died, and this her punishment – although what sort of punishment would it be for her to have found Goldenblaze here and now. Maybe they were together in that fog….lost and alone and yet reaching out, trying to pull each other back again…trying to find each other when all other hopes were lost.

“You see me.” Was the cryptically simple answer from the still cannibal, blue eyes unblinking ever as water rushed down, dripping from her whiskers, down her back, flicked from her tail. Someone else, aside from Bane and…and…

A face, with no name to it.

They had found her, seen her through the fog, but she had lost them again. How did she lose them? They hadn’t seen her anymore, through the fog that clouded their own minds and she had wandered away, lost. Blind and reaching, but nothing was there. No one had been there. “You’re far from your new home, Goldenblaze. What brings you back to such forsaken ground?” Tap, tap. That brown-tipped tail flicked out a particular pattern before it stilled. The she-cat remained watchful, ever watchful, but did not seem in the least bit hostile towards the tom before her.

Keep trying…for me.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Find a new mate? Did Heartless really have that little faith in him? How Goldenblaze burned with hurt when he fought against her that day after the war. The day she snapped.
The same couldn't be said for her. She seemed well, more alive than he had ever seen her when they had eachother. Her expression was unreadable, which left him with his bitter thoughts. A flash of self-resentment burned through his body as if he'd swallowed a hot coal, but he kept her steady gaze, despite the emotions that flashed through his steel eyes. Despite her well-being, Goldenblaze sensed something else hidden from him. But she was filled with secrets, he could see that without ever having spoken to her.

Of course I see you. Did you expect me to pass you by? He inquired, his voice barely above a monotone. He was regarding her in a way he never thought he'd have to do. It wasn't fear that held him back from running to her, but wariness. It was a firm and constant reminder to him, like a bothersome flea in his ear. She's not yours anymore. You're worthless to her. You're better off dead. Still, if she were to attack, he wouldn't stop her.

He blinked, his ear flicking again. You're mistaken, Heartless. That is no home to me, not as much as this place ever was He said, turning his muzzle to glance around briefly. I return for the memories. They chase away reality He said calmly. Perhaps if he were to say that to any other cat, they would think him crazy, insane, moreso than he already was. He was in a hole, looking up, barely seeing the light. But to Heartless, it was clear she was one to understand. For even though their fate's bounced away from eachother, going in seperate directions, it kept gravitating towards eachother, crossing paths. Opposites attracted, for that was all too true for them; they both fought to learn from eachother, to understand. Perhaps it was yearning? Probably, or maybe not.

Goldenblaze certainly wasn't aware of it, for the dark-pointed she-cat guarded her feelings well. He was still trying to figure out if he had stumbled into a dream, or a living nightmare.</sub>

[Heartless]

Such a thought was not based off of belief but cold hard facts. In consideration, while she had never actually loved her previous mates Heartless had not one issue when it had finally came down to driving them away, nor did she think it differently for the toms involved. Truthfully? It was easier for the tom to go find a new mate; they did not have to worry about such facts as raising the family and feeding them all, so they could run off and chase skirts as much as they so pleased. Heartless had been borderline in wishing for such a thing those days the fog cleared; between him finding another mate and happy and the more selfish personal desire that he had not.

And then the rain was letting up.

Goldenblaze’s eyes blazed with such emotions, so many vibrant blazes that flicked and burned and melted into one another to a mess of hurt and resentment towards the Siamese before him. Like a flower, prolonged without life-giving sunlight, the tom had wilted and faded; but if he expected a proper reaction for such a sight he was going to be in for quite a surprise. Not even a hint of emotion crossed her expression, not so much as a glimmer in those clear eyes – secrets were now strong in her now, because how much did he need to know about the hell that had become of her? And if she brought him into her world, there would be no further chance for him, he would be killed outright.

Likely, she would be the one to do it too.

His words were louder this time, not necessarily stronger and yet barely still above a monotone. However they were understandable, very much so, and Heartless gave a beat of time as if she were in thought before, “Yes.” Another beat, “The fog is so great, I cannot see myself a majority of the time. Why should I expect anyone else to see me?” Bane had seen her, was she just a ghost after all? That young she-cat, the name eluded her game, had as well. But they had faded away…she had faded away, hadn’t she? It had been her fault. The she-cat raised her paw and shook off some of the water clinging to it, honed claws unsheathing and then sheathed once more as she set it down. While the cannibal remained in this frame of mind, she had no intent or purpose in attacking him again.

Then, the rain stopped.

There was only a twitch of one brown ear to herald that Heartless had even heard Goldenblaze’s words, she had again returned to her paws and was slowly circling the camp, on occasion looking as if there was something there only she could see. More ghosts, or ever demons, to plague this bloodstained ground. “If we had crossed paths in any other location, I would not have remembered and I would have killed you.” Heartless didn’t have a home. She had a home once upon a time, before the fog and her Master had been in that life. She had friends, even a family.

The fog rose again, twisting and coiling as the she-cat turned back to face the tom – blue eyes clouded as her stance changed, regarding him as the enemy. It took a momentous effort to rush through the fog, enough so her eyes cleared again, enough so that she remembered again who it was before her. This couldn’t last long, the moments of clarity never were anymore, and as time grew on the hold this forsaken grounds had on her stretched and, slowly, grew more and more distant. Soon, wouldn’t it? Soon it would mean nothing, and she would never be able to escape that fog, always roaming alone and unknowing of who she was, who she had left behind. Heartless frown, the slightest of looks, before continuing her predatory prowl around the old camp.

Keep trying…for us.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Goldenblaze remained where he was, even after the rain had stopped and she moved around the camp, circling him to investigate the old hauntings. Only his dull eyes moved, following her; partly with wariness, the other with curiosity.

How could stones have such color and emotion in them? The fire was only smouldering, the pride that used to blaze in his golden eyes. With happiness, anger, or pride, it was always there. But Goldenblaze was still in there somewhere, barely hanging on with the last threads of his will for life. He would continue to keep trying for her. For if she truly believed he would move on with his life, she still had much to learn of this faithful tom.

Am I so insignificant in your life, Heartless He said softly, turning to face her, for she had wandered out of his sight. That you would not remember me? It was merely a question. He couldn't be mad at Heartless. Not anymore, at least. The anger had eluded him, and alls that was left had taken a weary toll on his body and mind.

But he had to know. Was he wasting time on his pity for her, mourning for her, when she did not do the same thing for him? Perhaps he was like the last of her mates, where she left and carried on with her life. Perhaps Goldenblaze was wrong in thinking he had been different, he had known love so long ago. He just knew he was different from the last; he couldn't carry on with his life correctly. When his daughter, so arrogant, was so like her mother.

Could he keep trying for them? Was it truly worth the effort? Like Goldenblaze, was Heartless in there somewhere, buried?
But still there.</sub>

[Heartless]

Investigations. They were as pointless as her thoughts, weren’t they? She never would remember them after she drifted on from this place, and might not even the next time she happened upon these lands. Heartless had stopped at one den, a simple one that looked no different then the others. But this one was different; it held such significance to her that could be classified as unreal. There were three kits suddenly running from it in her mind’s eye, specters that romped and played as she herself padded from the unseen depths, watching the youngsters. The little female, a caricature of the older female who had been with Bane, openly bossed the little males around, but all three came orderly when Goldenblaze’s shade entered the picture.

Heartless tilted her head to the side as she watched the scene play over, her own specter padding forward and greeting her mate with a chainsaw purr as the kits bounced around their paws, begging to be taken out of camp and train. Such eager little kits, weren’t they?

Goldenblaze, the real Goldenblaze, was speaking then and the ghosts faded back into nonexistence and Heartless turned her head to look at him almost tiredly – a certain type of weariness that was somewhere beyond the physical aspect held in those otherwise beautiful blue eyes. Perhaps there was even hurt there where he could see for just a second, but then she closed her eyes and sighed quietly. “You speak as if I’ve a given choice anymore. The fog grows and overtakes, and I lose sight of Heartless. I forget that I’m something more then a drone, a slave, who exists to serve her Master. In that fog I wander, alone, trying to find my way clear of it. But there’s no path back to the light, Goldenblaze, no matter what intensity I search for it. There is no one there. I reach out, and those I know who I see glimpsed in the fog turn away. They don’t want to see me.” Confusing, conflicted words – but they were the truth of her very existence currently. To someone listening in on the conversation it may only seem to be mere madness, for Heartless was indeed a dangerously insane cat, but that wasn’t it. She…just hoped that he could see through that fog and understand. “They can’t find me. They won’t find me…and you won’t either. The fog will come again, heavier and thicker then before, and I’ll never again remember that I am Heartless and that I am my own master.”

The Siamese left the den that had once been hers, the very one that she had reared her family in, and faced Goldenblaze head on, “It never was you. You played no hand in this; and nothing had ever been your fault.” Then, “I wish you had managed to succeed in killing me, when you tried to stop me…all that time ago. In death, I still would have not been forced to endure what I have – I still would have remained just Heartless.”

It could not be the sort of answer he desired to his question. Heartless still loved him, and that love had never wavered once. But then, she wasn’t just Heartless anymore now was she? The cat she truly was and the mindless drone she had become; it was a harsh reality to face during these moments of clarity.

Maybe it would be easier if she just forgot everything.

Keep trying…for our future.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>He kept silent, only watching with mild interest as she wandered.

... and stopped.

It was clear to Goldenblaze that something had in fact crossed between them when they knew eachother. Perhaps she may not have meant it, but her eyes grew glazed and distant as she stared at the den. No significance but to them. Their kits had in fact been very spirited. Barbwire being the bossy of the three [she still was, frankly], but she still had a certain fondness for her brother. That was the weird thing about the cannibal spawn; she may have a tough exterior, but nobody could deny she had heart.

Heartless spoke, and Goldenblaze's eyes broke into reality once more. What was real, and there in front of them. Slowly he turned his head to face her, his golden-red meeting her summer-blue ones. The world seemed to stop, or at least slow down. He blinked, wordlessly struggling internally.

Struggling to understand, to relate, to comprehend, to sympathize, to fix it. In some ways, Heartless truly had lost her mind. But in others, she had never thought so clear.
But it was clear to Goldenblaze she despised it. What had become of her since her final fall. He rose silently to his feet and moved across the distance between them to stand in front of her, staring her in the eye with a calm passiveness.

If there is any way of getting you back, I will find it He said seriously, his ear leaning back. I would never had been able to kill you, that day. No more than I would have been able to when we first met. You remember that, don't you? He inquired serenely, looking away to look into the den, eyes softening.

He hadn't felt so sound of mind since he first met. Even though Heartless's mind threatened to take over, and take his life. He hadn't felt so calm.</sub>

[Heartless]

Heartless couldn’t even remember her name. Such a fact should bother her, she knew, but in reality it did little to do so. The Siamese could remember her twin boys well enough, Zinstorm and Cinderstorm, and also that they had both fallen during the war. Weak toms, she would have said if anyone asked before. Trained by the best and they still fell! …and no one would have known how much their loss had bothered her. It wasn’t just that she had lost out on two good meals, which was fair enough considering has had contemplated eating each of her kits several times, but they had meant something to her too.

There had been another kit, another female, but little aside from spiteful rage and hate was able to be pulled from those shadowy depths…and for now, Heartless was content to allow that nameless specter to rest.

The tom moved, foolish beast, breaking the distance she had placed between them until he stood there right in front of her. For a moment Heartless forgot herself, rising to her full height, muscles rippling under that silken pelt, glaring at Goldenblaze – and it was only the fact that this was Goldenblaze that saved his life now. “Don’t be a fool.” The she-cat spat, refusing to back away, “Master would kill you.” She then paused, thinking on something, then shook her head and looked away; muttering to herself out loud, “No…no, that’d be too easy. She’d have me kill you.”

Did she remember? Did she care to remember, even now, when faced with a beam of light through the dark fog? The cannibal knew she couldn’t follow that light, not only would there be no hope at the other end, around those who did not choose to see her in the fog but some monster instead, but what she would be leading to them. “Ears don’t grow back.” With her brown-tipped tail lashing, Heartless chanced a glance back at Goldenblaze – and was that even a hint of a smile hovering on her muzzle? She remembered currently, even if those memories were as fleeting and dim as the others and as apt to vanish back into the unexplored, unknown depths, but it was a start.

It was a start.

Heartless sighed and finally moved, going for another pace around the camp – stopping at Bane’s Highrock. “I’ve spoken that that damn fool, Bane, already. He knows I’m here, that I still exist, but where did my loyalty to him get me?” Heartless turned back to Goldenblaze, a sharp and bitter laugh escaping her. “He chose to not look through the fog, just like that damnable little she-cat. No, it had to be you to see that I’m still here; that I’m still Heartless.” The cannibal laid down there, curling up and sinking back into her thoughts. “I like being Heartless, my own master.”

Keep trying…for our destinies.

[Goldenblaze]

Goldenblaze could see that intensity rise between them like sparks. But he remained calm. Not because he was too stupid, too foolish, not to have seen it.

But because if she truly thought killing him was the correct answer, then she was truly lost to him. He had lost his will and pride long ago. The only thread that kept him connected to his life was the chance that Heartless might still be there. She might still be alive, and with the possibly hopeless thoughts that she might wish him back into her life.

And do you not think I would stop you? Heartless? He quietly murmured as she got to her feet and walked away, this time surveying Bane's den. Her words put a shock through him, and his tail fluffed out lightly and anger sparked in his eye. Bane was here? He knew she was... Alive? And some other female, too. Who was that? Spiderlilly? Darkangel? Barbw-

No. His daughter would have told him if she was alive.

.... Wouldn't she?

But there was more to Heartless's words, seemingly thoughtless babble. It was as if Bane... Hadn't realized that she was truly Heartless. As if she had lost herself forever. But she hadn't.

She was there, dimly, but it was a start.

Still, he reached up with a paw and tenderly batted the shreaded ear. It still had the base of his ear, with it's pink inside [it hadn't damaged his hearing] but the slender tip, that should have ended in a refined point was gone, leaving a jagged horizontal cut. He did look rather ridiculous, but once Goldenblaze was different. He was proud. He had proved them all how ridiculous he truly was [Ahem. As in not at all, really].
But that was love for you. That missing stump that Heartless had taken. He wouldn't have it any other way.

No, it appears they don't He said fondly, flicking the tattered remains.

He looked back at Heartless, several thoughts flooding through his mind. Who was this 'master'? Was it possible to control the difference between 'Heartless' and 'slave'? And more importantly...
Was it possible to fall in love all over again?

Goldenblaze looked away sadly.

[Heartless]

What was she doing, playing this fool’s game? What was she doing, rekindling the past, trying to hope for the first time in moons that her path was no laid out as she knew it was – I make my own path – that there was something more then just some mindless warrior inside her – I am Heartless, and I am my own master – that could be found again? What were hopes and dreams to a monster that wasn’t capable of containing them? Heartless actually chuckled, a sinister sound from the cannibal, at Goldanblaze’s words. “You can try. You will fail and pay dearly with your life, but you could try.” It wasn’t that she wanted to kill him. Of course that wasn’t the case…if it were he’d have been killed when they had first crossed paths this day.

No…the fog waned and grew, and when it grew next to every cat in existence was Heartless’ enemy. While it was Master’s choice where to send her out when a task was at paw, what felines she killed on the side were entirely up to her…and the list had grown to include many rogues and clan cats as of late.

Anger, now. It was almost amusing to see a cat who had allowed himself to grow so decrepit reacted with such strong emotion, “Take that anger out on Bane and he’ll kill you easily, tom. Stay alive, I’m sure Chimera and the others would like to meet their father someday.” That time…that chance meeting between herself and Bane…hadn’t it been the first time she had remembered she was Heartless? It was hard to think back to that, she wasn’t even entirely sure what words had been spoken that day anymore. Repeat visits never granter to her again such clarity – she remained, instead, in the fog. Remained, instead, one with the ghosts that would forever haunt this old territory.

Uncomfortable in simply remaining lying down, Heartless ended up sitting back up with a mild grumble - suddenly shaking herself off like a dog to shed the pesky water clinging to her fur. The sky was slowly clearing, beams of broken fractured moonlight shining through, moving in brilliant patters as the clouds overhead carried on. When she looked back to Goldenblaze, there were so many new questions unspoken in his eyes now – and she could dare in her half-cleared fog to chance a guess at what some of them might be, and the full stories that could be said in answer to them.

Master was Velvetcalamity. I knew her before, the cat she had been before becoming the monstrosity she is now, once upon a time a long long time again back when I was with my birthclan. Her name had just been Velvet then, she had been the leader’s, Superiorstar’s, daughter. The same Superiorstar who had stolen away my brother and changed him. The same Superiorstar that struck me when I ran to see Oblivion…that clawed me and knocked me, still just a small apprentice, into the great river. It was cold…so wet. I can remember my body striking something solid, over and over and over again, and then everything changed after that. I lived, saying that one day I’d go back and get my brother when I was faster, better, stronger. But I never had that chance. Velvetcalamity told me, before she made the fog overtake my world, what had happened – twolegs, humans, had come to the clan. They had taken away Master, and then destroyed everyone else – the fire that they had set loose on the camp had consumed Superiorstar alive. She told me that, all of that – the entire story – before she poisoned my already damaged mind and took away my last possession, the cat that I still am, somewhere deep inside – Heartless.

Superiorstar, my Master’s father and the leader of that clan, had made me into a monster. Master only finished the job started a long time ago.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Goldenblaze stared into the darkness smouldering around the camp. But he raised his head fractionally; The moon was shining. A thin sliver of a crescent, but it shown. Aside from his eyes, he was cast in shadows.

I couldn't bring myself to even try, Heartless He said grimly, looking back down at the floor. A tiny pawprint; it belonged to one of his children. He gave a slight smile, a paternal one, running a claw over it.

He watched her, her words sinking in. Chimera... She'd had children. Kits? When? So many more questions exploded into his head, and he stared at her bewildered. Father... There are... You have... When? He finished weakly, staring at her with wide eyes.

Tell me about them He said quietly, almost warily. He had gone on all this time without having even a guess.</sub>

[Heartless]

Idly, Heartless pawed at one flicker of moonlight that moved through the camp as it passed right before her, illuminating on pay in basked light before it fragmented and moved on, splashing across Goldenblaze’s drab fur and away from sight. When had it grown so late? She knew that she would have to leave, before her Master sent one of her sons to find her and bring her back. Be as it may, she was prolonging this, keeping the madness at bay for just another few minute, a bit longer…

Was that a pawprint that Goldenblaze was smiling slightly at? Heartless chanced a glance, never knowing…she couldn’t recall which one it may belong to. They were gone to her; all four were dead to her as she was to them. The Siamese gave her chest fur a good choice swipe of her tongue, flattering it so that it didn’t stick out like a spiked raccoon, but her ears pricked forward when she heard the bewildered tone in the tom’s voice. In glancing up, she could see a dozen and one more questions burning in his wide eyes.

“When? They were born a few moons ago. They’re your kits, Goldenblaze.” She added, just so that he knew then and there and didn’t start wondering if she had found herself another mate as she had speculated concerning him. The cannibal rose to her paws, stretching elegantly before approaching the tom and settling down a few pawsteps from his side – as close as she dared to be – You belong there, by his side – as the fog rose and twisted and threatened to control her damaged mind. “What is there to tell? Chimera’s bold, quick, and like fire tends to be destructive. Hopeless lives up to his name; I’ve been thinking about eating him lately. Who knows, I still may. Graffiti an unusual kit; she says that she see beauty in everything – even death. I like her. Voltaire, Grimlocke, and Maelstrom are all dead.”

Shrugging, almost to herself, Heartless chanced a glance up towards the sky. The moon was there, barely seen through the cloud covering, but it was still there.

I’m still here too…don’t forget me.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>Goldenblaze looked down as he listened. He was a father, once again. He hadn't adjusted to being a father to new kits. It still had taken him a long time to adjust to the thought of being a father to the first litter. His ear twitched as it crossed his mind that he was a father to a mate he didn't even know. Half of her was one who didn't know Goldenblaze; only knew 'master' and how to kill. He shuffled his paw, listening.


He breathed a light sigh of relief. At least it was in fact his, and not some other male she had come across. At least he wasn't a total loss. Three living. Three dead. Chimera, Hopeless, and Grafitti. At least he finally had a son. He didn't know how much estrogen he could handle.

At least she still had some of her old habits. However much he didn't approve of her eating his kits, it still put some relief to see some common waters. Don't eat him, Heartless. He could prove to be valuable someday He murmured softly as he stared at the pawprint, tail flicking over his paws. He wanted to scoot closer to her, but already he was treading dangerous territory being so close to her now. If he so much as touched her, she might shred his other ear. He gave his trademark grin, small as it was, staring at their reflection in the puddle in each individual pad mark.</sub>

[Heartless]

Goldenblaze appeared to be taking the news better then Heartless expected. While kits were no big deal to her and an easy run by now, this being her fourth litter and all, it had taken longer for him to accept being a father – hadn’t it? That felt right, that thought, like it was correct – so Heartless was content to believe in it right now. The she-cat studied the tom’s expressions, struggling with herself to recall what was right and what was not – but did it really matter? She sighed, sinking back to the resignation that likely when she left these lands she would not remember any of this chance meeting, that it would not truly matter in the long run – I’m not lost. I’m still here, find me! – and she’d fade away into oblivion.

Impatiently, the cannibal shifted, her head turning to root at an itch in her flank as she allowed for Goldenblaze the time to get over the shock, for the information she gave him about the kits to fully sink into his thick skull. Three kits weren’t such a bad outcome, really, and they were damn good kits too. Even Hopeless sometimes, when he pulled his head from his behind and actually put some effort into his training. The other three, well…Voltaire and Maelstrom she had personally killed and eaten – for the love of her she could not recall the reason why, she hadn’t been very hungry – and as for Grimlocke? She never knew what happened to him; probably taken by some watchful predatory beast when out playing with his siblings. She just wrote him off as dead and stopped caring.

“Valuable? Him? Maybe.” Heartless lifted her paw and unsheathed its claws, eyeing them as if in inspection, “I could always use him as a distraction against some foe – he just may be worth that.”

Nah, she wouldn’t go for the other ear; that’d be not only too easy but also too expected out of Heartless. If there was a good thing that she’d gained out of the hell she ran through now, she had learned to be something that those who knew her could not expect – to release those ties that bind and sink away deeper and deeper into that fog. “You may be seeing them soon enough anyway; Shinentai said he was going to take them on a training exercise near Boneclan’s new territory sometime.” Was it shocking that she knew already where they had relocated to, so soon after they had moved? No, not really…a ghost certainly got around, especially when they were a mindless drone doing as ordered.

Just a drone, with a Master, nothing more.

I’m not lost. I see you all from this fog, and why can’t you see me?
I am a cannibalistic warrior from Boneclan. The second feline to join the clan; one of Bane’s most trusted and elite soldiers. That's who I am. That's who I'll always be.

I’m nothing. Just a drone. No name or mind to speak of.
Lost, here in the fog, with wandering paws and no light to brighten the way.

I am Heartless, never some drone, and I will be my own master again someday.

[Goldenblaze]

<sub>For something other than bait, my dear He said with a deep chuckle. He'd never even met the young son of his, and he could relate. In some way.
Goldenblaze had started out young and innocent. He trained in Treeclan, had little hope for himself anymore than simply a warrior; a 9 to 5 job working for someone who was high and mighty above all of them, listening to what they always said. Their word was law.

And Goldenblaze, well, he had turned full circle. Just leaving shortly to get a little vengeance for his poor ear [Back then, he was so vain for his appearance. Now, he had so many scars and oddities he hardly cared]. Now, broken as he may be, he was still powerful. He was still one of the mighty. For that was what Boneclan was, was it not?

Even Bane had no faith for him, but he proved himself. He proved everybody wrong. And in the end, it won him Bane's faith, and Heartless.

I will be sure to keep an eye for them He said grimly. He didn't question how Heartless knew where their camp was. His mind was still focused on his kits. He had to settle on just seeing them from afar. He hoped he would meet them someday. 'What if' questions swirled through his head. What if Heartless knew Bane had never died? Would he take her home, and he would meet his daughters and son. Hell, all of them possibly would have survived, if she had eaten them. He had convinced her not to eat any from the last litter, afterall. He turned away to look at the sky, the sliver moon shining across his eyes and on his golden face.

It wouldn't stop him from trying, though. Trying his hardest.</sub>

[Heartless]

“Hm. I must express doubt in his capabilities – he does live up to his name, remember? I probably should’ve saved one of the other two toms and eaten him instead.” Heartless mused out loud, wondering if she should have done just that. If Hopeless didn’t shape up soon, there was little guesswork in what the she-cat would do.

But it was getting late. Heartless knew more and more that, soon, someone would be sent to find her. And if that someone were to find her with Goldenblaze, then they would proceed to destroy him, and her only chance at escaping the overwhelming fog would vanish forever. Standing she padded off, towards the entrance of the old camp, before turning to face Goldenblaze again. “I’m sure you’ll hear them before you spy them, if it’s before their training actually starts. I do ask for you not to interrupt them if they’re training, though, wait until after if you must actually speak with them.”

“I’m going now. Master will send someone shortly, and I must be well away from this place. The fog will grow and I will forget myself again, I know, but I also know that I won’t forget myself entirely just yet.” The cannibal stopped speaking, thinking for a moment, before sighing. “Come here, you old fool. I want a proper farewell, without attempting to claw your muzzle off.” They had never said goodbye, before, and if she never had the chance to see him again…

I’m still here…waiting…

[Goldenblaze]

Goldenblaze was slightly wary. Should he show himself to this 'Shinentai'? To speak to his sons, or say it in secret. Perhaps if he was given the chance, he would drop the young tom a quick sidenote. Pay more attention, perhaps, or Mom will come and eat you.

He grimaced at the dark joke that he told himself, but it certainly wasn't an empty threat. Still, he was slightly looking forward to watching his kits practice. It could help him get to know each kit without actually speaking to them. Still, he had to concentrate. All their kits may have been 'dead' in Heartless's eyes, but Goldenblaze never forgot his hopelessness as Soulless was taken from them. Now, he would get the vengeance he'd never gotten around to paying back.

But he didn't want to get caught with Heartless. He was slowly getting another reason to live his life. For it wasn't just his life he had to live; he had a promise to Heartless he intended fully to fulfill. She rose to her feet and sauntered away. He got to his feet, tail arching as he turned away, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. Vengeance.

But he froze. She wanted a goodbye. One he never had gotten the chance to give. He turned away, eyes shining in the dark. He took a few steps before trotting over [before she changed her mind] and nuzzled her fiercely, giving her a lick. His eyes shined as he looked at her in the darkness, their eyes meeting, and he turned away.

[Heartless]

There was still love there, somewhere, in the depths of that sky blue gaze as their eyes met. Heartless grinned, a dangerous smirk that hovered on her muzzle before she too turned away – striking off a path somewhere away from the old Boneclan lands, opposing in direction to their new one. She didn’t think this was it, the end, but if it somehow was, if she lost herself into the fog, there had been a goodbye this time.

Let the fog come; let the wind howl. I am Heartless…and I will be strong enough to see myself again.