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Post by Shadow Spirit on Apr 1, 2007 0:10:44 GMT -5
If my life were a cliff...I'd be teetering on the edge...waiting for you to catch me...
For a moment the tom stood completely stunned. HIM? DEPUTY? She must be joking with him! But Kestrel had never seemed the type to joke, at least not about something important...
"Are you serious?" he asked, his granite eyes wide. |
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Post by Kestrel on Apr 1, 2007 0:22:07 GMT -5
zetsubou kara no hajimari te ni shlta kara ;;
Kestrel stood nose-to-nose with Chasm, barely more than a hair-length away.
She did not shift her gaze.
"I trust you," she said simply.
;; arukitsuzukeyou
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Post by Shadow Spirit on Apr 1, 2007 0:35:00 GMT -5
There you go again...catching me just before I slip off the edge...
Chasm's surprise melted away and his stunned expression smoothed into a melancholy grin. He wasn't upset about being appointed deputy, but there was something bothering him that he couldn't put his paw on. What was it that made him hesitant, that made him feel weariness flood his body?
Feeling slightly dazed, he looked into Kestrel's sharp eyes to try and regain his composure.
"It's an honor then..." he said, nearly the same words he'd used when she'd made him a mentor only hours earlier. |
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Post by Kestrel on Apr 1, 2007 0:38:30 GMT -5
zetsubou kara no hajimari te ni shlta kara ;;
"Do you not want it?"
Kestrel spoke bluntly and almost -somehow- carelessly. Her fierce mismatched eyes dared him to lie to her.
She could always tell.
But Kestrel spoke the next words more hesitently. "Already you have been through much. This is a responsibility...I would understand if you wished to give deputyship to another cat..."
;; arukitsuzukeyou
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Post by Shadow Spirit on Apr 1, 2007 0:58:10 GMT -5
Am I slipping...all over again?
Chasm quickly reigned in his feelings.
"No...I meant what I said!" he sputtered. "It truly is an honor!" His mind was reeling, his eyes growing wide once more. He didn't want to give the position to anyone else. If he was deputy, he could always be with her...always protect her...she would never be alone...
"It's all I could have ever hoped for..." he said quietly. "Now I won't have to worry so much...because I'll be there to help you...to throw myself in front of anyone who could want to harm you..." His speech was reckless, a whirlwind of feelings spilling out of his mouth like vomit. Suddenly realizing his ridiculous behavior, he looked up at her again, his eyes deep and troubled. Then, feeling like lead had been dropped into his legs, he collapsed to the ground and lay there, shaking sligthly. Just what was wrong with him? Why on earth did he break down when offered such a wonderful thing? What the hell was wrong with him.....? |
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Post by Kestrel on Apr 1, 2007 1:05:41 GMT -5
zetsubou kara no hajimari te ni shlta kara ;;
For an endless time Kestrel stood by and stared, a kind of bewildered, almost hopeless blankness on her face.
Finally, she dropped down beside him, looking across at him. "Shh," she murmured, almost sternly. Then her voice softened, and she went on, "There is no need for that." Exactly what 'that' was, was difficult to say.
"I wish I knew how you help you, Chasm." She sounded distant, as though speaking to herself.
;; arukitsuzukeyou
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Post by Shadow Spirit on Apr 1, 2007 19:04:56 GMT -5
Sometimes...even with you near me...I feel like I'm falling...
Chasm ceased his shuddering and leaned against Kestrel for comfort. The tom of nearly seven seasons ends had been reduced to a frightened, insecure teenager and right in front of the one he cared about most. It was appaling and he felt terribly ashamed. He guessed, that this was the price he paid for having a seemingly perfect time up until now...
"I guess...my life...just caught up with me..." he murmured, burying his face in her soft fur. Her scent, as always, soothing. "I feel ridiculous...breaking down in front of you...I hope you're not ashamed...but your deputy still has some social issues..." was his half-hearted reply. |
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Post by Kestrel on Apr 1, 2007 19:33:20 GMT -5
zetsubou kara no hajimari te ni shlta kara ;;
"It does not matter," Kestrel said fiercely. "You will not need to lead the Clan into battle-- at least not yet. You must make no speeches, hold no meetings. Not yet."
She held his gaze with her own mismatches eyes. Slightly wryly, she added, "That is for me to do, and I am good enough at it for the both of us."
Continuing bravely, the pretty gray and white she-cat meowed, "If I die, or am incapacitated, you may have to do these things. But not yet. No, for now, all I expect of you is to support me, back me up, be loyal.
I know you will do well in this area."
;; arukitsuzukeyou
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Post by Shadow Spirit on Apr 1, 2007 20:11:06 GMT -5
Here we go again...locked in my pain again...
Chasm grunted and struggled to his paws. He steaded himself carefully and then looked at Kestrel for a long moment. His demeanor had returned to its normal stoic self, but his gray eyes betrayed his uncertainty.
"So I suppose we need to tell the Clan?" he posed the question to her. |
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Post by Kestrel on Apr 1, 2007 20:17:15 GMT -5
zetsubou kara no hajimari te ni shlta kara ;;
Kestrel bowed her head. "I suppose so," she meowed.
Breaking off, she glanced to Chasm. "Is there anything else? If not, I'll return right away and make the announcement."
;; arukitsuzukeyou
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Post by Shadow Spirit on Apr 1, 2007 20:53:21 GMT -5
One day...this will all be over...then we can fly together in the sun again...
Chasm shook his broad, black head. He shifted his weight to his heels, ready to keep up with his fleet leader.
"You've no need to worry over me...my pain is small compared to what will be felt once the war is on...let us do whatever needs to be done..." were his solemn words. "I am your deputy now, so wherever you lead, I will follow..." |
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